The Difference Between Love and Obsession



Love can be often confused with obsession, especially nowadays. Often in high school, people want a relationship, but a lot of confusing things can happen, such as overthinking and obsession that can be a bad mix with love. For example, teens can end up in an overthinking stage that is hard to get over, which often leads to an obsession that people believe is love.

Doherty sophomore Olivia Grace says, “I think it’s possible for teens to fall in love, but most of the time when they think they are falling in love, it is actually an obsession but they don’t realize it right away.”

Desire for attention

Yeah, showing someone your attention is always good, but that isn’t love; obsession is mostly just a desire for attention and, if you really think about it, love is about time and loyalty. Spending time with someone is a great thing to do because it allows you to bond with a person. Rushing into relationships blindly is not a good thing because rushing into a relationship can cause many unhealthy addictions such as overthinking etc. It is a bad thing because you do not know them very well. For all that you know, they could be a serial killer or a drug dealer. Therefore, taking your time getting to know someone is important so that if they are bad, you can cut your ties with them and move on to someone better.

Doherty junior Gabriella Pacheco says that everyone wants love, but some people say they need it: “ Don’t get me wrong; knowing you’re loved by a special someone is an amazing feeling, but it can often start to blind you. You start to realize all the good and ignore the bad. People come and go, that’s just the way life works and you can always love someone else. You as a person deserve self-love, how do you expect to love someone else when you can’t love yourself?” Gabriella Pacheco has been in a long-term relationship for two years and she has a lot of experience with relationships and other problems that come into a relationship.

Believing in your relationship

Inspirational speaker Simon Sinek says, “When you go to the gym, then you go home, [you] look in the mirror and see nothing. Then you do it again. You go home and see nothing. But if you actually believe there could be changes and differences, then you must stay consistent and keep going.” That’s what love is; it’s about time and effort, it’s about staying committed to your relationship, and it’s about always being there time after time, even if you two are arguing. 

When it comes to taking time within love, time is about consistency. It’s about being consistent and loyal and trustworthy. If you stay loyal and trustworthy and consistent, the better the relationship can be for both of you.

Love is not a game

Love is about the little things, and it’s about how you and your partner can actually put effort into your relationship instead of just saying “I love you” every five seconds. Those magical words are good and heartwarming, but do you actually mean it? Just take a second and think about it: if you two are actually committed to each other, then it may actually be love. Doherty sophomore Riley Taylor says, “Love is a feeling. When you love someone, you may just tell them you love them. You might mean it, [or] you might not, but love is a word.”  Riley has been in his relationship for a while, so he has had the chance to learn what love is. Love can be just a word to some people. Yes, you can tell them you love them but love is better shown through long-term commitment and dedication than it is said.

Love isn’t a word to just throw around, nor is it a game. Love takes effort and it could be painful, but the best part of it all is knowing you two can survive that conflict and leave it in the past. That’s what the effort in love is for, it’s showing that you two care, and you two stick together no matter the cost. 

Obsession leads to problems

Obsession is temporary and can lead to the relationship not lasting or cheating. Obsession can be looked at as someone only wanting to talk to a person for a small amount of time. Some obsession relationships end because of one partner getting bored of their significant other. They get bored because they didn’t really take the time to get to know them and instead rushed into the relationship.

Obsession can also happen because someone is either “cute or hot” and the other only really cares about the looks, so if they see someone better looking they will move on to them. Don’t get me wrong, looks matter, but someone should not just fall in love with someone just because they look good. People should look at personality, and take the time to build a friendship. For example, spending time with someone and getting to know about their life is key. 

Doherty junior Aspen Gilmer says, “Getting to know someone is important because you get to know their flaws and whether or not they’re the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”  Aspen has learned, after being in her relationship for a while, that taking time to get to know someone and taking time on someone can lead to great things. Getting to know someone’s flaws and personality is a big thing in relationships because it may help you if an issue arises in the future.

 Depending on the situation, affection can also be a sign of obsession if that is all they want a person for. For example, someone might just have the person for cuddling and kissing and nothing else. That is not love. Yes, those can be used to show appreciation, but not if that’s all their relationship is about. In this sense, a relationship could only be used for temporary comfort or coping mechanisms to get away from stress.

Be careful who you trust and put your time into. Search for love, not an obsession. Everyone will find their other half eventually, you just have to wait and let it come to you at the right time. You just have to be patient.