How to Identify Toxic Relationships

heart locks  to show the power of healthy relationships that will hopefully go a long way due to commitment

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heart locks to show the power of healthy relationships that will hopefully go a long way due to commitment

Toxic Relationships can always lead to bad things, like cheating, fighting, rumors etc. Here are some tips we have found to help identify toxic relationships.

Honesty is a big thing in relationships due to trust. There are some ways you can identify this often in someone being dishonest: they won’t look you in the eyes, and won’t act normal. They can often be distant and have short conversations with you or will avoid questions on certain subjects. For example, If they are not honest on who they’re talking to, when the person there texting is possibly an ex if that’s the case, that is usually a red flag not always but most of the time; sometimes they are “just friends” but still be careful. This can go like meeting up with people because they can say they are going to do one thing for example, study, but it ends up they go on a secret date. Doherty sophomore Kai Sundermeyer says, “Dishonesty always comes back to bite you. lying gets you nowhere. Tension starts to build between you two and it never ends well so always be honest even if it is hard.” Therefore Kai has realized in his healthy relationship that being honest can go a long way.

Lack of Communication
This could go with dishonesty depending on what the context is. Communication is a huge thing in relationships. Lack of communication can end your relationship faster than you can say “i”, and this is really important. Rather you are in an argument, anything like that make sure you both are on the same page because it could be something important for example, like certain boundaries for one another. Or a set time for a date because if you’re late your significant other might be mad. Doherty sophomore Noah Marquez says, “ Lack of communication is a bad thing because it puts up a wall in the relationship. If someone has a problem and is not willing to talk about it the problem won’t be solved.” Therefore Noah is saying that if there is a problem make sure you solve it together.

Being Controlling
You can usually know right away when someone is controlling. They will always tell you what to wear, who to be friends with. Being controlling is also when they force you to do things that can ruin other plans you may have. For example, when you are with family or friends and they make you drop everything for them. Or when you have planned a specific day with family or friends but they make you change everything for them but you really wanted to see your loved ones.

Being controlling in a relationship is the worst mistake anyone can make and the worst part is some people won’t even realize that they are being controlling because they are so scared the relationship will end. Freedom is something a lot of people need in a relationship, if you keep telling them what to do they will feel trapped and might even be scared. If you give them their free time, they will start to trust you more and they will enjoy being with you as well. When both of the partners are happy in a relationship both of the two will enjoy each others company and be more honest, communicative and loyal.

Lost of Commitment
When someone lacks commitment it is REALLY obvious because they just stop trying, they stop texting, calling, seeing you in person, and they really just ghost you basically all of the time without having any communication. Losing commitment can really cause a lot of arguments overthinking then comes the toxicity that just completely ruins the relationship. You always want to make sure you are actually willing to stay with the person you decided to date!

Being jealous can cause so much toxicity in literally just one whole day, and being jealous is also a sign of fear because they are scared of getting left behind for someone else. People really are afraid of getting hurt from someone they trust so dearly. You can usually tell someone is jealous when they lack communication and they don’t want to talk about it, and when their mood changes when you’re talking to a friend or when they are all of a sudden mad at you after you’re being friendly towards someone. There are other signs of jealousy that get the best of us and it can ruin a lot of relationships. Overthinking can usually cause this as well but if you talk to you partner about how you feel and you both solve the problem together then you will have nothing to worry about.

Lack of Self Care
When you are ruining your own health over someone who doesn’t give you their all, it is a really unhealthy and dangerous mistake. Having self care is something very important that you need to be peaceful in life. If someone is having you ruin your own health for them then you must distance yourself to focus more on yourself, you should know yourself, you should know how to make yourself peaceful instead of ruining your health for a person who doesn’t notice you. You want to be in a relationship when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. Doherty senior Tylor Huff says, “ To be healthy in a relationship you have to be able to have control over your own happiness and not have the other person just be the source of your happiness.” Therefore, finding other sources of happiness is a healthy thing to do just in case your relationship goes south.

All in all be careful who you trust in relationships, don’t rush into them take time on people and make sure you have a healthy relationship and fix any toxicity if fixable.